If you believe the truths we’ve presented in Compassion without Compromise, then you realize that one of the most unloving things we can do is simply affirm people’s choices (including our own!). In an age that falsely equates genuine disagreement with radical intolerance, it’s sometimes difficult to figure out how we can disagree without destroying a relationship. How do we know it’s time to speak up?
As with many other issues, one of the first considerations to make is: Where does this family member stand in relation to Jesus Christ? Are they claiming Christ as their Lord? In this instance, if we have an ongoing relationship with the family member, we should feel comfortable beginning with a question: How do you square this relationship with God’s Word?
If the family member is not a Christian, then we would suggest that the question of this relationship is not the place to start. It’s more important to get to the root of the issue: Their relationship with Jesus (see pages 64-66 on Jesus & discipleship).
Of course, if your family member specifically asks you what you believe, then you should respond truthfully. In that instance, we would suggest something like: I believe the Bible teaches that the only God-designed context for sexual intimacy is marriage between a husband and wife. After carefully exploring Scripture, that’s the conviction I hold. I want you to know I love you and respect that you’re going to make your own decisions in life, but I’m seeking to live according to the Scriptures. As a Christian, I believe that God’s will, even when it’s difficult to understand and/or practice faithfully, leads me to deeper joy. I believe the most important question all of us have to answer is: Who will have ultimate authority in my life, and will I obey? For me, that’s a much more foundational question than any other.
Finally, we’d simply remind you of Paul’s words in Colossians 4:5-6 Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.